Aerosmith
—
The band that refuses to admit it’s time to retire. Steven Tyler’s voice sounds like a cat in a blender, and somehow he’s still screeching about love like he’s in his twenties—newsflash, Steven, no one really wants to close their eyes and miss a thing if the thing is your aging rock falsetto.
They’re basically the rock ‘n roll equivalent of that one uncle who shows up to every family event in leather pants, determined to prove he’s still ‘got it.’ Every hit sounds like it’s been dusted off and reheated, like they’ve been recycling the same three guitar riffs since the Carter administration.
But you’ve got to hand it to them—they’ve managed to make a career out of one giant midlife crisis on stage. It’s like they’re powered by pure hairspray fumes and nostalgia.
Someone had to say it!
